My anxiety disorder has really affected my self esteem, advice please?

I to sufferd from anxiety disorders and severe panic attacks, there was a point I never left the house and coudnt eat I lost 1 stone in 2 weeks and was getting really depresed. I thought I was going to be like this forever. I was offerd help and meds but the thot of them made me worse. I went to hell and back to get rid of my anxiety disorder It was mentaly the hardst time of my life but one day something just clikd in my mind and I relised wat was really happning to me. I still get th odd fealing of anxiousness in a nervous situation but havnt took a panic attack in years, it will go away even if it feals like it won't if you can train ur brain to be stronger and learn fully wat ur body is doing wen a panic attack takes place it helps a lot. The friend you had is not worth having if they left you like that, some ppl don't understand anxiety fully and think its "all in your head" wich it technically is but its so much more than that to a suffer its very much real and frighting. You shouldnt feal down about this, its obviously not ideal but the more u get anoyied and down about it th worse ull feal. My panic attacks just stopd, u need to be positve and stay happy. Keep busy be around positve ppl not negitve ones. Ppl who make you feal bad about urself are not worth having, even if you were close to them. Plenty off ppl will stik by u regrdless if there a true friends. I had a friend who has sat up with me thru nites, walkd out the cinema, drove me to hospital( got stoped from police becoz speeding lol) and a lot more lol all becoz of my stupid panics. Your panic attacks WILL stop. Your in control of your body and mind never forget that,even tho it dosnt seem like that just now but u are.